Sunday, April 10, 2011

A Classic Mykee Misdventure, Revisted.

I was drunkenly telling somebody this story last night, and i couldnt really remember most of the details.. so i went through the old blogs to locate my original telling.. and man.. it still rules.. so.. let us revisit a classic Mykee adventure from the days of yore:


April 17, 2007  (today marks the 5 year anniversary of this fateful night. fucking crazy how time flies man)


So.......... Last night i went to see my friend's band BUCKSHOT FACELIFT play at Lit.. on the way into the city, i was waiting for my N train.. and drinking a 24oz can of keystone light (classy).. and a train came from the other direction, and when it pulled away i saw a cop standing there across the tracks.. he was looking at me drinking my booze.. and he put up his hand as if to say 'stay right there'.. then he said, 'you cant drink that here, stay right there' (apparently i read his hand signal correctly) .. then my train began to approach the station, and i pointed to my headphones as if to say 'sorry i can't hear you' .. and then i said 'sorry, i cant hear you!' and gave him a thumbs up, and got on the train and left.. so THAT ruled.... then i ate a xanax and met up with nick and ashley at their apartment.. i drank a 22 of old english (more class) and danced to some bob marley.. then we went to Lit... BUCKSHOT FACELIFT was awesome.. they freaking rule.. and i love them all... and we drank alot more... and i was pretty wasted already.. then me and nick and ashley and dan went to Annex for some sorta dance party thing their friend was DJing in the basement.. and drank lots and lots of free PBR's and danced and danced and danced.. and it was a wonderful time... nick and ashley left.. me and dan fucked around and danced some more.. they played amy winehouse... i got excited... danced and made out with some hot chick.. then danced with the hottest chick in the place.. made out with her a bit... dance dance dance... drinking peoples unfinished beers off tables.. annnnnnnnnnd then we left... we walked to the corner of Allen st, embraced one another, and parted ways for our respected subway stations... i decided to take the scenic route, and stopped by Bside for some more drinks.. hung out with sara and protected her while she counted the money and closed the bar... then continued on my way home... got a delicious hot dog with some oniony stuff and CHEEEESE on it.. got a bit on my jean jacket, licked it off, and hopped on the train.. which was the Q, cuz i figured i'd change it up a bit... forgetting the Q stops at 57th street... which it did.. so instead of waiting for the N at 57th, i just got out and started walking towards the 59th street bridge.. the time is now probably around 530am.. the hustle and bustle of city life is slowly beginning.. and my drunk ass is dancing down the street listening to some Mock Orange, playing some mean air drums.. singing loudly.. loving drunken life.. so.. i finally get to the bridge.. and start walking on the upper roadway.. which apparently has no walkway for humans, or any shoulder of any sort at all.. just two lanes of speeding ass cars and walls.. so i hopped the wall and walked on the outside edge with all the construction and shit, jumping over obstacles and looking at the sunrise and the water.. quite nice.. but then the construction area ended.. and i had to hop back into the road..... so... i continued walking.. not minding one bit of it.. then i notice some flashing lights comin up behind me.. and a police paddywagon van thing pulls up next to me, i take out a headphone and they say 'you can't be walking up here! you're gonna get yourself killed!' and i said 'hey man, i'm just trying ta get home, and i like the view, sorry, i'll be careful..' and they said they would slowly follow behind me until i got to the end of the bridge, so i could be safe (i was thinking that maybe a RIDE woulda been prudent.. but, i guess thats against the rules or something).. so i put my headphone back in, lit up a smoke, and starting walking again, singing loud, playin some airdrums, dancing it up.. with my own personal police escort following behind me keeping me safe... king in the castle.. so... bout 5 minutes later i see a real cop car pull up next to me, white guy cop driving, young black chick cop riding shotgun.. and they said i couldnt be walking up here and made me get in the back of the cruiser.. i asked if i could smoke in there and they said no.. and started driving me off the bridge... i took it all in stride.. not minding a second.. enjoying the scenery, shooting the shit with the cops (through the metal gate separator).. appreciating the ride, and being in the back of a cop car (which has like ZERO leg room! can't a criminal get a little comfort? apparently not..) and as we went around the bend, and approached the end of the bridge, i see 2 cop cars had set up a sweet roadblock, doors open, flashing lights, only thing missing was cops with drawn pistols in the cracks of the open doors.. so i asked my cops "is that for ME?" .. and they said 'Yup.. we kept getting calls about a guy walking in the middle of the road on the upper roadway of the 59th street bridge.. so they wanted to catch him.. you.." .. i was HONORED! i couldnt believe it.. i felt like a real criminal or something! i started cracking up, and said 'that's AMAZING' and they laughed.. the roadblock let us through.. we turned the corner and pulled over.. the chick cop got out and let me out.. we exchanged names and pleasantries, shook hands, i thanked them for the ride, apologized for the inconvenience.. (they liked me).. i put my music back on, lit up another smoke.. and continued onward on my journey home.. still had quite a way to go from the end of the bridge to my home.. so i was walking and walking and dancing and dancing and smoking and singing and airdrumming and rocking and enjoying the sunrise and the nice steady drizzle of mist falling from the sky... around 36th ave i decided to hop up on this wet marble ledge and walk on it like a balance beam for a bit, then i decided to jump to the next one, which was at a right angle infront of me... bad idea.. as i lept, my feet slipped out on the slick wet marble, my body went in the air, then my knee slammed into the ledge, ass smashed on the concrete, and the back of my head came about an inch away from busting open on the marble ledge that i had just throw myself off of..... i laid there in the wetness for a few minutes, getting rained on.. recovering.. regaining my wits (maybe in shock).. after a bit, i got my broken, bruised, abused drunk ass body up out of the water and limped the rest of the way home, holding my knee, laughing my ass off the whole way......... the end.

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