The Problem With Going To Sleep Early For Once...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

(repost of a weird dream I had a little over a year ago)

The problem with deciding to get my tired ass to sleep early for once is I have dreams about ladies in senate, trying to get some sorta house zoning bill passed.. and taking inspiration from a They Might Be Giants song, she realizes she can filibuster 'vigilantly'.. reciting the words to songs from the Little Mermaid soundtrack, explaining each verses deeper meanings as they go.. and everybody in senate was so annoyed.. then it was off to the wilderness with some 'EXXXTREME' friends.. and i almost dropped an expensive ass video camera while base jumping off a huge mountain into the parking lot of the shopping center i had my first 2 jobs at when i was younger.. only to be met there by Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool, who picked me up in a Honda Element. And i was having such a crazy day and i wanted someone to talk to, so i was whining to him about stuff, and telling him i wished he still had a mouth so we could talk... and he showed me that he actually, contrary to the portrayal of Deadpool in the Wolverine Origins movie (not the actual Deadpool from the comics), he DID still have a mouth and we could talk.. and i decided a cigarette would be really good, but he made me wait a few minutes cuz he had the AC going in the car.. and we drove past the old pool club in the neighborhood i grew up in, and there was a lady sitting on her front lawn, watching her kids play with toys.. she was all sexy and skinny and over tanned and rich and desperate housewives-ish, complaining to her kids that her foot really hurt, and Deadpool now turned into my friend Chris Catapano (who if you know him, makes it even weirder) and he wouldnt drive off cuz he was getting turned on by the crazy housewife lady's rants.. and i was even thinking that she was lookin to get banged by some strapping young poolguy-esque dude, and i was thinkin bout goin to talk to her bout it.. but then i was at my parents house trying to fix an old Nintendo i had plugged into the washing machine.. and i ended up hacking a game of Castlevania so i had Mario AND a side scrolling jet fighter with lasers to shoot at the same time as Mario's fireballs, and i was fucking shit up.. crazy ghosts and monsters.. and i told my dad the Nintendo works just fine.. then i opened the freezer for some icecream, but there wasnt anything good in there, and i turned to check out this shelf full of lotsa random toys and old stuff.. and i saw all my old electric toothbrush sets i used to have when i was little, a Mickey Mouse one... and some others, that i didnt really have in real life.. and i was wishing i still had the one He-Man one i used to have.. and my dad said that it was at my grandma's house, and i could go get it! but i had to probably do some chores for her.. 

Then i got a call from my friend Beth, who told me she found a way to take regular disposable lighters, and make them super strength and indestructible, and she was gonna start selling them and make lots of money, and she gave me a whole bunch of them, and i went to the gas station and picked up a whole tray of lighters for her to use to start up her new business venture.. but then i was playing some old school computer games with a friend, and we got stoned, and then my friend Dennis, (whom i worked with in the kitchen at Shaffer City a long time ago, who is now as of very recently BACK in the kitchen there) knocked on the door and asked if we wanted anything on the side of---- and i responded YES before he even finished asking, cuz for some reason i knew that he was making us some big ass microwave pizzas, and he put pasta and BBQ sauce on them, and cut them up in really fucking weird shapes.. 

(This is a picture i saw the other day that musta inspired my brain to have Dennis cut those pizzas up so weird.. i wish i could go back to sleep and eat them!)

Then we turned on the TV and the senate lady was still filibustering vigilantly, with Little Mermaid songs, talking about how Ariel is telling little girls how to feel pretty in the morning by counting the number of cocktail shrimp they put on their eyes when they wake up... =\ 1-2-3... .......... and then i guess i woke up.... and now its 4am... and.... dammit! no more going to sleep early!

-MM